[When asked if he wore a hairpiece] "It`s a question that I find like asking somebody, `Did you have a breast implant?` or `When did you get your lobotomy?`"
I am not a Starfleet commander, or T.J. Hooker. I don`t live on Starship NCC-1701, or own a phaser. And I don`t know anybody named Bones, Sulu, or Spock. And no, I`ve never had green alien sex, though I`m sure it would be quite an evening. I speak English...