You live these three months in this reality, in this dark reality. You don`t want to do those films every year because they`re taxing. I started smoking a lot of cigarettes.
You know when something feels so good but you`re afraid to feel good about it? So you kinda hold back? Everyone says, Congratulations, you must be so happy. And you say something stupid like, I`m just doing what little I can with what little I have.