They have - they do still hit me occasionally, and it`s an overwhelming grief for what - even though my life is so good now, even including going through treatment for cancer, my life is incredible.
There were times after my marriage ended where, you know, I really felt like I was at the bottom of a mountain, there was a great big, fog up there, and I`m never going to cross to the other side.
So I - the thought that I would physically be different was - it`s not a thrill, I have to tell you. It`s kind of - it brings you up short. But I was able to look at it right away.
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Looking at my horrible ugly bulk on a huge screen was the turning point in my life.
